Do you have a morning routine? Do you have an evening routine? Is having a morning and or evening routine a form of self care? Maybe. Does the thought of having a routine (or even having one but just the labeling of it) give you the heebie jeebies like I get? Maybe.
Kendra, The Lazy Genius says “a morning routine is kindly opening the day with the purpose of gradually increasing my productive energy” and I LOVE it. (Her podcast on morning routine can be found here. I think it’s amazing – she’s not preaching about how “YOU MUST HAVE THIS ROUTINE THAT I DO TO BE THE BEST HUMAN THAT YOU CAN BE” but more “hey. Let’s gently open this day and make it awesome – even if it is a little crazy.” And that totally vibes with my energy.) Plus, I love her even though we’ve never met. You know, this internet thing is just crazy pants.
The more I dig into what self care is (and what it is NOT), the more I am noticing how I thrive on the little, tiny, almost insignificant things that are routine and not thought of – and how off I feel if they get skipped. When I was a kid, I HATED making my bed. Like, I think my mom almost killed me multiple times over this (Hi, Mom!). Now? It’s a 17 second day changer for me – and I feel calmer and smoother all day when I walk into my room and see my bed made. Now, I’m not even talking full on, super grown up, tons of pillows arranged just so kind of bed making here… I’m talking pulling the sheets and the duvet up and making them marginally straight and putting the pillows and maybe like 2 other sham pillows on the bed, all while the body pillow that we use to keep children from falling out of the bed is STILL UNDER THE COVERS, y’all. Most days, I consider it made and great while you might come over and think there’s still a body in that made up bed. Another morning routine thing for me is having a few sips of coffee while hanging on the couch with the dog and a book – even just 10 minutes of this peace starts my day so calmly and beautifully. I think it’s taking that second to breathe that sets the intention for the day for me, and dang if it isn’t game changing for the rest of the day.
Evenings are a bit less structured in my world, so I’m really thinking that I thrive on that morning routine – but one thing I can’t live without is my Sunday evening planning ritual. Taken from Kate Northrup’s Do Less Planner, it’s an overview of what the coming week holds – in broad terms and specifics. I make a weekly to do list – one side is things I need to get done at home and work that week, and the other half of the page is reserved for items that I’m putting on the universe’s to do list – hello, potty training a toddler! Yup, I for sure asked for help on that one! Once I’ve got a solid grasp on what’s coming up for the week, Court and I chat about what his week looks like and where we need to shift balances for family stuff and whatnot. This 15-20 minute thing has saved us countless arguments and scrambling over the years – and I’m so grateful for it. Sometimes the kids are running around all nutty (totally normal, right?!) and sometimes it’s after bedtime with a glass of wine, but our weeks are always smoother when this happens.
After spending a, ahem, significant amount of time figuring it out (I’m a slow learner sometimes, y’all, plus, you know, kids that coslept with us forever made mornings weird!) and now really analyzing that makes me tick better, I’m becoming a believer in this whole “having a routine is a form of self care” thing. I feel more rested and better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at me that day – and to close it out and go to sleep at the end of whatever that craziness is. And, as we all know, sleep is too valuable a tool to not get!
Tell me – what are your little things (that may even be considered a routine or habit!) that you have never thought of as self care until now?
xoxox,
Dr. Jamie
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